On Finding Your Self
Once upon a time there was a woman named Mary who ventured out into the world to find her Self. Now Mary did not know that this Self was lost until, one day, an angel came to call and announced, “You, madam, are incomplete. You have need of your Self in this world and then your Soul.”
“But, sir angel,” Mary protested, “why do I have need of this Self when I feel so blissful and content?”
“That may be the case now,” the angel responded, “but the day will come when a feeling of emptiness will throb inside you.”
Mary continued with her journey through life, enjoying all that she could, blissfully unaware that something was missing. She had no concern over what the angel had said. All her needs were duly met and her life seemed no different than that of others. The day did come, however, when her apparently peaceful existence collapsed. She was left shocked and bewildered. How could this happen to her?
“I have done all that I was supposed to do,” she said to herself. “I have conducted myself as others before me. To what do I owe this tragedy?”
And the angel came to call again. “My dear Mary, would you like to speak with me now? I have news that can help you find your way again.”
“Not now,” Mary replied, “I am weary and have no energy for other pursuits at this time. Come to me later perhaps, but not now. I am grieving my losses and uncertain of what I want for the future.”
So the angel departed, making note that Mary was not yet ready for the pursuit of true happiness. She had lessons to learn, feelings to feel and losses to grieve. And, she was not yet ready to receive.
Mary fumbled along, working through her pain as best she could. Eventually she did recover some of her former zest. But tragedy struck again and down she went into the depths of despair, much as she had done previously. Mary was quite sad now, unable to raise her head, even on a sunny day. It was she who called the angel this time, asking him to come forward in her time of need.
“My dear angel,” she cried plaintively, “I have come to that point where I can no longer move ahead and I have need of your Heart and Soul. Please help me move forward again so I can find my way to the Light.”
And the angel arrived instantly, happy and all aglow, looking Mary over and taking note of her unrelenting discomfort.
“My dear woman,” he began, “you have certainly let yourself fall hard this time. I can see that you are in quite a state.”
“That I am,” replied Mary. “As true as you say, I have fallen as low as I can. I am stuck in this place and unable to move forward without your guiding hand.”
So the angel reached over, took Mary by the hand and helped her to her feet.
“Thank you, dear angel, for your help,” Mary stated. “I believe I can go on from here.”
“But wait,” the angel pleaded, “I have more to offer. Are you sure that is all you require right now?
“I see no point,” Mary continued, “in burdening you further. I’ll carry on from here on my own.”
“Very well,” the angel conceded and disappeared as Mary set off once again on her own.
Back in the world, moving forward again, Mary began to realize that there would be many more struggles in front of her. Then she thought: “If I asked for more, would it be there for me? I feel so selfish in asking for help. Is it possible to easily receive all that I may need?”
Back the angel came and looked at her warmly: “All you need do is ask, dear woman, and I, with all the angels in Heaven, will be there for you.”
“Then perhaps you could do more for me,” Mary replied rather sheepishly. “I do find this journey quite burdensome now. I seem to be having a lot of trouble moving forward on my own. Would you please join me for a time?”
“Certainly,” the angel answered, “I will accompany you as far as you like.”
And the two of them proceeded on Mary’s path, living life and learning as they went along. Mary very often didn’t know what to expect and had to be instructed on how to handle certain situations. She learned to identify her needs and express herself more effectively. She knew about choices now, how to ask for what she wanted and refuse that which could cause her grievance. Mary was learning many valuable lessons that helped her along in life, and she grew stronger with each choice and encounter. And then the thought came, “Where is my Self? Where is my Soul?”
“You mentioned these to me earlier, sir angel, did you not?”
“Yes, indeed,” the angel answered. “Your Self and your Soul are important companions in life, worthy parts of you to discover and actualize in order to make yourself complete.”
“Yes, yes, these I want, too,” Mary asserted.
“And these you will have,” the angel continued, “as soon as you take hold.”
“Take hold of what?” Mary repeated.
“Take hold of your life,” the angel continued. “You cannot have all that you need unless you claim it; and your Self has to be there to do the claiming.”
“How do I accomplish that?” Mary asked again.
“By doing more of what you have been learning to do; that is, asserting how you feel and addressing your needs from within.”
“From within?” she repeated.
“Yes, within,” the angel went on. That is where you will find your Self, and then your Soul.”
“You mean my Self and my Soul are within my feelings?”
“Yes,” the angel replied. Your Self is your center on this plane. It is who you are, what you experience, what you express, which leads back to who you are once again.”
“You mean,” Mary continued, “I am me from the inside out and not the other way around?”
“That is correct,” the angel went on. “What you are is inside of you. What you express is what you show of your Self. This Self resides within you and you know it through your ‘Heart.’ Your heart, or passion, tells you what’s important to you, informs all your feelings and experiences, pointing you toward the Self within, which then points you to your Soul.”
“My Soul, you say?”
“Yes, your Soul. This is your connection to the Divine and where you join with all other Souls in enjoying and expressing the wealth of Life. You are here to grow, to exchange with others as you evolve and, collectively, you express Life.”
“Do I have my Soul now?” Mary wanted to know
“You always have a Soul. What you are striving for is being connected with your Soul, and that can take a lifetime. But you are close, for your Self is near at hand. Express that Self by expressing your ‘being,’ that is your passions, loves and desires. Then you will see that your Soul is not far away.”
“Will I be complete then?” Mary continued.
“As complete as any lover of Life can be,” was the reply. “As complete as one becomes after finding their way Home and having learned to give and receive love.”
“And the Love in my Heart will be forever?”
“Yes,” the angel replied. “And that, my dear friend, is what makes you whole and complete.”
And so Mary felt she understood the entire picture now. It was her Self and her Soul that she required to be complete. And these were to be uncovered through her own Heart and feeling state, not through that of another, not even an angel. And it was her life she was salvaging when she undertook to seek help. The angel’s function, she now realized, was to serve her and help with her lessons. Only she could negotiate her path, learn to give and receive and grow as a function of all her experiences.